Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Going round in circles!

Today I am offically "off" zero carb.

What is UP with me? I am zero carb, then low carb, then back on to carbs, then back to zero, then I get all confused, then I stop ALL diets and eat whatever I want, then I read another book and try THAT, and then....

I am even getting sick of my own damn self.

So what NOW? Well, I have finished reading Taubes' "The Case Against Sugar" and he makes a very good point: sugar is different to starch. Starches, like rice and potatoes, do NOT contain the fructose molecule, and this part of sucrose seems to be the big problem.

His book makes me think that really, the big problem is sugar itself. (And perhaps refined flours. But his book doesn't go into those.)

Potatoes are not refined. Rice is, sort of.

I am so confused, I have to admit.

One thing I can say is this: I sure have experimented on myself. My body is like a science lab. I try things. I stop and start things.

Another thing that Gary Taubes' book got me to see is that there really is no concrete evidence AGAINST artificial sweetners. The amounts that they fed rats to induce cancer were literally HUGE amounts - more, way more, than humans could ever ingest in a lifetime. And if, like me, you rotate your sweeteners, then I see no major problem in having a bit of them from time to time. Not all day long, but a bit now and then. The Case Against Sugar by [Taubes, Gary]

I sometimes wonder if I wasn't better off before I started down the nutrition rabbit hole. There are arguments for EVERY thing. For and against every single food out there.

So what has stopped me from succeeding with zero carb? I think it's my mind. I believe my mind just can't do it. I just CAN'T limit myself to only meat. As much as I love meat, and I do, really enjoy meat, I hit a point where I crave variety. I want a little veggies, and I WANT some sweetness. Today I even bought some fresh coconut. I don't always love it, but today it was really nice because I haven't had it in so long.

And I don't generally like rice, but I love it in sushi.

So I am thinking that if one includes a bit of these things, like rice, for example, now and then, what's the harm? I have never had any health problems to date that would prevent me from eating these. I tolerate rice just fine.

I just also think about a life (zero carb) where I NEVER eat a piece of fruit again, or I never get to enjoy lunch out, or a nice dinner out. Nah, I just can't do it. I need these things in my life. I NEED the pleasure of eating out, not all the time, mind you, but now and then, because I am the cook of my household and it gets tiresome always preparing food for everyone else. The sheer delight and pleasure of having someone else prepare ME a meal is really something.

It's funny how you take that for granted growing up - you take your mom's cooking so much for granted, so much so that you turn your nose up at things. Gosh, sorry mom.

I am not sure what came over me today, but the thought of a big steak this morning wasn't doing it for me. I had a big steak, and yes, it was nice, but it wasn't super duper lovely and I just thought, why am I torturing myself when I don't have a weight problem?

I really, really don't have a weight problem. This is something I need to drum into my thick skull. I am lean. I am small. I am at a happy, happy weight. I can eat what I like, within reason. Within healthy reason.

Yes, sugar is addictive to me. Very addictive. I need to be careful of sugar - sucrose. But other foods? I am fine. I can eat them and be fine. So FOR ME personally, my "drug" has always been sugar. If I just cut that out, I am pretty sure I will be ok.

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