Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Dear Woman Friend

You may be a real-life friend of mine, or an internet "friend", but PLEASE know this: I think you are goddamn beautiful. Just the way you are.


How do I know this? I know this because beauty is, for me, all about what is on the inside. It really is. Truly.

So I know that you love hard, that you have the same fears and insecurities as I do and that you are doing the very best you can every single day. That is beautiful. I know you are kind and mean well, and that the world and the hardness that life throws at you, and at me, can be crushing sometimes.

I know your body seems to be betraying you by storing fat in all the places you wish it wouldn't (along with some places you are happy about - yay bigger boobs and butt). But our bodies are NOT our enemies. This brand new concept for me is blowing my mind but it's helping me so much. My body is not my enemy. My body is simply a vehicle that is carrying me around on this Earth. Think about it: when you were born, you had no control over what body you were given. You entered with this baby-body, and that was that. The genetic coding of that body is nothing other than that: genetic coding. So if you end up tall, skinny, short, missing a limb, darker or lighter skinned, straight or wavy haired, chubby or very's not your doing. Which means, for us as a society, and especially as women, to judge each other based on our "spacesuits" is just plain silly. It's silliness.

Yet I have done it, and mostly I have judged myself. I am sure that if you are a woman, and you are reading this, you too have done it. You have found your physical self lacking in some way. I know the feeling.

But you are still beautiful regardless of what you see in the mirror and regardless of society's arbitrary standards. Yes, you might not look close to the "ideal" image of beauty that we are fed (think of any popular model/celeb) but I promise you, if you looked at yourself through the eyes of love, you would see your beauty. And that, my friends, is where beauty lies. In the eyes of the lover. In the eyes of the one looking upon you with love.

How can I be so sure of this? Because it happens to me time and time again. When I see someone's soul, I suddenly find them so freaking beautiful. Do you know what I mean?

Let me give you an example: when I was studying Graphic Design at Tech, there were all sorts of students in my year. All sorts of looks. Some were "ugly" by the societal beauty standard, yes. But as I got to know all my classmates, that quickly disappeared for me, and I soon saw all of them truly. For their natures, for their hearts. And the "ugly" ones became so beautiful, and some of the "pretty/hot" ones were kinda ugly in their unkindness.


And then add to that a deeper layer of complexity: even the traditionally good-looking kids are still beautiful in their unkindness because when you look closer, their actions of unkindness are born out of their own insecurities and fears. And we see the truth of someone, with their vulnerabilities, they become, at least to me, anyway, very beautiful.

I am definitely someone who falls in love with people's vulnerabilities and their humanness. Their "realness", so to speak. And when that happens, the big nose, or the crooked teeth, or the wrinkles that they possess become so lovely to look at. Maybe it's the artist in me, but when someone is open and vulnerable with me, and I see their truth, then suddenly all their flaws look so amazing that I could stare at them for hours and hours. Every pore on the skin, every stretch mark....everything!

So you who feel that your thighs are too wide, or your nose too big or your wrinkles too deep, please stand in your own light and own your true beauty. See it! Please dear woman friend, SEE it. Because I do.

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